Yesterday I was driving to work like I always do. As I was turning off of the main road to go to K-Mart (man, they have an image problem - I feel cheap saying I went there) my car wouldn't slow up and my brakes slammed to the floor. I drove around the parking lot slowing my car down until I felt comfortable stopping it with the parking brake. It was a real exciting time. Then, I walked for thirty minutes across town to work. I loved the walk and was very thankful that my brakes didn't go out at a red light. It made me want to live within walking distance to the store. We currently live within walking distance of only a few neighbors.
I've been trying to think what does this have to do with anything. What can I learn from this little experience? I'm at a loss for words except for the old cliche about hope. We have hope in a lot of things. Hope, according to dictionary.com is "to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment." We have a hope that no matter what bad happens to do us, God will use it for the good of those who love Him. We have a hope that if we seek, we will find. If we ask, it will be given to us. We have hope that God's kingdom will be completely manifested someday. We are filled with hope as followers of Christ.
But I would be remiss to say that some days that hope doesn't dwindle. I love and hate the old hymn that says "everyday with Jesus is sweeter than the day before." It's fun to sing, but I feel like I'm lying when I sing it. Everyday has not been sweeter than the day before. I wish I could grasp hold of that saying and live as if it was true. My church experience has not been greater since we moved from Lansing. The last few days have been pretty crappy health-wise. I've fallen asleep early because I just can't go on. The other night I fell asleep around 7:00 and last night we had only one youth group kid show up for movie night; I fell asleep during the movie. I feel like crap waking up. As a matter of fact, I feel like still sleeping, but I have to go to work. Can I have hope that I won't die of some illness? Can I have hope that I wll be healthy and live till I'm 100?
I doubt my tiredness is much of anything, but it makes you wonder what would happen is you're gone. And I don't go to the doctor because we don't have health insurance (vote John Kerry - just kidding), but that doesn't matter anyway. Doctors can't do anything for liver problems anyway, which I knew I had last time I had insurance.
Now, if you're a healer Christian guy, I will believe you when you bring me the 150 year old guy who has had enough faith to never die and when everyone you try to heal is healed. I believe in the power of God to heal. I've seen people healed, but I also believe that God lets people die. I've seen many followers of Christ pass on. For some reason he doesn't heal every time we want him to.
I have no idea what I'm trying to say today. I just wish I could go back asleep. But, in the end, I do have hope that Christ will raise me up in the last days no matter how crappy I feel now. I don't think that pedal will ever fail.
Watch out for the potholes.
