Finding Ourselves

Blogspot was down and wasn't allowing me to update. Now it is up and running well.

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I'm exhausted today. Because of stupid food sensitivities I have to be on a strict diet or else I feel like crap. This weekend I strayed and today I pay. I get grumpy. I get tired. I want to fire my workers. I want to beat my wife and children. Okay, maybe not that extreme. But because of my mood, I plan on being brief.

Crystal Brown had a great post on August 24. I think I probably read it around then, but I went there today and really enjoyed it.

She went on at one point about trying to find herself. At one stretch during my youth ministry I became all new agey. I almost lost my faith in trying to find myself.

I didn't become content until I realized that this "finding oneself" business was a bunch of hog wash. I came to the conclusion that joy and contentment didn't come from this neverending quest to find myself. It comes from finding who God wants me to be and working towards that.
Once I reached that place I think my life became much more joyful, especially when I eat right. Anyway, now I just struggle with figuring out the specifics on who God wants me to be, what He wants me to do, and where He wants me to go. I know most of the general things he wants from me that comes from the Scriptures. Now, I just seek his will for some of the specifics for my life.

Here are some of the specific questions for example. Are Lindsay and I supposed to leave Antwerp and find a ministry somewhere? Should I homeschool my children? Should I plant another house church? The list could go on. They seem rather major. But when I am who God wants me to be when it comes to general things, I can still be content and joyful seeking answers to the specifics. Especially when I eat right.

Watch out for the potholes.